


Just Maybe

by goingtothetardis



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: (the first chapter was originally in my fic prompt collection in case it looks familiar), Angst, Discussion about choice, Doctor POV, Don't worry I'll never leave these two in a pit of angst for too long, Ends with hope, F/M, Grief, Post-Episode: s04e13 Journey's End, Prompt Fic, Rollercoaster of Emotions, Rose pov, Sobbing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 11:29:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15662340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goingtothetardis/pseuds/goingtothetardis
Summary: “You don’t have to stay,” Rose says.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey lovely readers! My apologies about this fic. I posted the first chapter earlier this morning in my Prompt Fic Collection, but then the second chapter was born, and it got a bit longer than I'd like for my collection, and I decided to delete that chapter and post it as a full work instead. 
> 
> But good news is, you get both chapters at once!! Woo!
> 
> This entire thing is Unbeta'd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From an anonymous prompt on tumblr: "You don't have to stay."
> 
> Again, I apologize for the repost. For those of you who left comments when I first posted, thank you so much! In no way do I expect you to comment again, but if you do, many thanks. 
> 
> Unbeta'd.

After spending the first night back in this universe at Jackie and Pete’s, Rose breathes a sigh of relief when she turns the key to the door in her tiny flat and lets herself inside. It’s not much, her flat, as she hadn’t spent much time here or personalized it in any way, but after hours of her mum’s overwhelming hovering and questions, she’d had to escape. 

Rose leaves the door open for the Doctor to follow her inside, and when it closes behind him with a soft click, she stops in her tracks. 

“You don’t have to stay,” Rose says without looking at him, her voice low and emotionless. 

It’s the first thing she’s said to him since arriving back in London. Jackie had done all the talking during their brief stay at the mansion and had basically shoved the Doctor into the cab with Rose after she’d decided to return to her flat. It was assumed, she supposes, that the Doctor would go with her. 

_ Where else would he go? _

“Rose,” he says softly. “Look at me.”

With a shaky breath, Rose turns around slowly and meets the Doctor’s gaze. 

For the first time since she’s met him, the Doctor looks… less than. He’s uncertain and insecure, like he’s trying to hide himself away from her. For a moment, her churning thoughts stumble, and she wants to wrap her arms around him and tell him everything is going to be okay. 

But it’s not. 

Because  _ he _ left her. Left them.

“Of course, I want to stay. But if you don’t want me here, I’ll… go.” His gaze flicks to the side and focuses on something behind her. 

Rose sets her jaw and glares at the man in front of her. “I’m not gonna force you to do anything, Doctor. I’m giving you a  _ choice.” _

She intentionally places emphasis on the word, secretly placated when he cringes at her not-so-subtle accusation. 

“You knew, didn’t you? That he was gonna leave us here. Why didn’t you stop him?” The anger rushes out, now, and Rose can’t stop the words that flow freely from her mouth.

The Doctor finally looks at her again, and one hand reaches back to rub the back of her neck. The action is so  _ achingly _ familiar, that Rose almost loses track of her anger and the words that  _ need _ to be spoken. 

“Because either way, he was going to leave me, leave  _ us _ behind. I felt the timelines, Rose, and we weren’t a part of his future.” The Doctor runs his hands down his face. “I  _ am  _ sorry I –  _ we _ – didn’t give you a choice,” he says, shrugging helplessly.

“Again,” Rose growls. “You took away my choice,  _ again.” _

A long silence settles between them, and the Doctor’s eyes finally widen in what Rose hopes is the (very belated) realization of how many times he’s taken away her choice. 

“You. Him.  _ The Doctor... _ Whoever the bloody hell you are, I’m not gonna let it happen again. I worked  _ so hard _ find you, ran myself into the ground for  _ years _ , and while I know no one could have predicted everything that happened, you just…” Rose pauses, gasping for breath, as the reality of the situation crashes over her once again. “You just left me behind. After  _ everything.” _

Tears stream down her face, now, as she’s no longer able to keep at bay the emotions she’s locked up inside for so long. Sobs wrack her body from deep inside, as grief and anger erupt and pull her to the ground in their intensity. 

Rose feels strong arms lift her off the floor and wrap around her as she sobs. She’s dimly aware of drops of moisture falling on her face, as though whoever holds her shares in her grief. Time passes as she loses herself in a storm of emotions, and now that she’s started, she can’t stop. 

It’s cathartic, deeply necessary, and in some ways, soul cleansing. As her sobs quiet and the fierce roll of emotions tapers off, she’s still angry, still grieving, but the intensity of everything pressing in against her has lessened. 

And as the Doctor – yes, it’s the Doctor – holds her, with his  _ oh so familiar _ arms wrapped around her in comfort, there’s a spark of hope that flickers deep inside her heart. 

That someday – maybe not today or tomorrow – but someday, she’ll find happiness again. And maybe, just maybe, she can give this Doctor a chance, and they can have what she and her other Doctors never could. 

Just maybe. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From an anonymous prompt on tumblr: "Don't listen to them. Don't you ever listen to them."
> 
> And here's the second chapter, this one from the Doctor's POV. 
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Unbeta'd.

The Doctor stares at Rose as she drops to her knees, his rubbish singular heart twisting in pain as gut-wrenching sobs shake through her body. Unable to stand by a moment longer, he rushes to her side and sits on the floor as he pulls her into his lap. 

Awkwardly scooting back, he leans against the front door, and pulls Rose closer against his chest, trying – and failing – to soothe her hurts.

The Doctor’s stomach rolls with the kind nausea that comes from the guilt of deeply hurting someone close. He’d been the one to cause this pain.  _ Him,  _ both of them, as one. He hadn’t stopped himself, and in not speaking up (despite the knowledge that it would have done nothing to change the other Doctor’s mind), he helped to facilitate the events on Bad Wolf Bay. 

Just barely over twenty-four hours old, and he’s already fucked up beyond all hope. He has one life, now. One heart, which no matter what happens, will always belong to Rose. 

His hearts – and now heart – have belonged to Rose since the moment he took her hand and said ‘Run!’

The Doctor’s brand new human emotions slam into him like a train, and he experiences the rare sensation of tears pricking at his eyes. They fall down his cheeks without his permission, dripping onto Rose’s head and inevitably mixing with her own tears. 

Exhaling a ragged sigh, the Doctor decides to ride the flow of emotions. Perhaps there’s something to be said for the occasional emotional cleanse, and he’s churning through his own grief as well. Despite the tiny piece of TARDIS coral in his pocket, he’d had only seconds to say goodbye to his most loyal companion of centuries, the TARDIS. And Donna… He swallows thickly thinking about Donna’s likely fate, a fate almost worse than death, and he hates himself a little bit more. 

He’s a mess. They both are. Left together in an unfamiliar universe with the expectation that they’ll work things out and that everything will be  _ right as rain. _

Oh, how he loathes himself right now.  _ All of himself.  _ In every universe. 

Time passes, but for once, the Doctor gives little thought to it. Instead, he allows himself this time to grieve and work through his own anger about how things… transpired. He shouldn’t even be here, shouldn’t exist. 

But he does, and now he’s stuck here in this universe with the one person he loves most in the multiverse. 

“Stuck with you…” he murmurs softly against Rose’s hair.

The Doctor doesn’t expect an answer, but he starts slightly when Rose whispers back, her voice broken through her sobs. “That’s not so bad.”

His heart pounds wildly in his chest. Maybe there is hope for them after all. 

“Rose,” he says, needing to get this one thing out in the open. “Don’t listen to them. Don’t you ever listen to them and let them take your voice away.” 

He’d meant to say himself, but had changed his mind in the last minute. He’s a coward, through and through. 

“You mean, don’t listen to  _ you?” _ Rose’s voice rumbles against his chest, stronger now, as her sobs subside. 

“Er, quite,” he says, his hand twitching as he resists the urge to tug on his ear. “I know there’s nothing I can say that’ll make you forgive me for taking away your choice, but this is me, giving you permission to stand your ground in the future and fight me if I try.  _ Which I won’t,” _ he adds in a rush, quickly attempting to assuage Rose’s doubt. “Or at least, I’ll try not to. Old habits die hard, you know.” 

Rose pushes herself away from him and pulls her knees up to her chest. With a pointed glare, she huffs an annoyed laugh. 

“Thanks for giving me permission,” she says, rolling her eyes. 

Oh, bugger. The Doctor realizes a little too late how his comment had obviously been interpreted. 

“I… That’s not what I…” he starts, then sighs, defeated. 

“I know what you meant,” Rose says. “Was just taking the mick.”

They stare at each other for several moments, emotions still high between them despite the brief reprieve, and he decides to break the silence.  

“I’m so sorry, Rose,” the Doctor says, determined to at least attempt to make things right. “I know it changes nothing, but I’m so sorry for what he did and what I did by omission. But I want you to know…” Taking her hands, he gazes into her eyes. “Everything I said on that beach is true. I… I love you.”

Tears spring to Rose’s eyes once more, and she shrugs helplessly as they roll down her cheeks. 

“I know,” she says, “but you still just… left.”

The Doctor surges forward onto his knees and pulls Rose into his arms. 

“I know I left, and I hate myself for it. But I’m still here, this me, and if there’s one thing I promise you for the rest of your life, it’s that I will never leave you. I promise you. It’s my solemn vow to you. I will not leave you, Rose Tyler.” He takes a deep breath, sorting his last few thoughts. “I’ve got one life to live, and if you’d like, I’d love for you to be in it.” 

Rose sniffles against his chest, and he holds his breath as he waits for a response.

“Yeah,” she says, finally, and the Doctor exhales in relief. “But we’re not done talking yet, so don’t get too comfortable.” 

His lousy heart fills with hope, and he smiles. 

“Rose Tyler,” he says. “As long as you’re with me.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Find me at goingtothetardis.tumblr.com!


End file.
